Are Your Emotions Controlling You?

Read time: 4 minutes

I remember the first time I read that.

Vividly.

I was sitting in the back of a bus.

Making my way back home from a “job” I wasn’t fully in love with.

Surrounding me were other people who similarly seemed to be heading back to their homes, just to wake up tomorrow and repeat the same cycle again.

Not a single smile.

Just straight, gloomy faces.

It was clear.

They, too, were sold the same lie:

• Graduate from a good school with a strong degree

• Land a prestigious job in private equity or investment banking

• Find the perfect partner, settle down, and live the "dream life"

I remember thinking to myself…

There must be another way.

So that's what I went after. I made it my mission to explore all the other possibilities that lay ahead for me.

I started doing things I had never even considered before.

From investing in personal growth to bailing on every social plan that came my way.

12 months ago, it couldn’t have been more different.

• Going out every weekend

• Spending money like no tomorrow

• Sleeping in, waking up past noon daily

What kind of life was I living?!

No wonder I was lost.

Disconnected.

Unhappy & unfulfilled.

I continually kept getting in my own way.

Perhaps it was a fear of being alone.

Of feeling like I needed to constantly be surrounded by others to make me feel good & loved.

But deep down, I knew that more of that wasn't going to solve anything.

At least, not in the long run.

You see, external validation, achievements, and possessions will never fulfill you.

If you don’t take the time to heal the internal chaos, the external will always cast a shadow.

It’ll deceive you.

You’ll fall into the trap and stay stuck there.

Just like most of our society already has.

And as these things continue, you end up having no clue of who you really are.

You’ve never questioned anything.

You just follow the crowd.

You do what everyone else is doing.

So when the time comes to understand yourself and your emotions, you're at a loss.

You've been too busy sabotaging yourself:

• People-pleasing

• Neglecting your own needs

• Breaking promises to yourself

And then, when you stub your toe or your partner does something you don’t like, you react instantly.

No pause. No thought. No intention.

Just pure reaction.

You don’t stop to think.

For one, you don’t even realize you have a choice in how you respond.

And secondly — your emotions have been in the driver’s seat of your life for as long as you can remember.

So why would it be any different now?

I’m being honest.

I was right there myself.

I’m talking from my own personal experience.

This kept happening to me.

I continually let my emotions rule my life.

They would decide how I would act.

The things I would say.

The way people would end up looking at me.

Quite frankly, it was one of the things I most disliked about myself.

Until I finally understood what Frankl really meant.

That glorious space.

All of us will encounter moments in our lives where we feel annoyed, angry, or bothered.

However, just because you feel it, doesn’t mean you need to act on it.

And that’s something I wasn’t aware of myself.

Like I said, when you spend all your time doing what everyone else is doing, and none getting to know yourself, how can you possibly be aware?

You’re always on the go.

24/7.

Living in a society that is constantly stimulated & socialized.

I don’t blame you.

Plus, just like I was — you’re currently simply unaware.

Uninformed.

How can we judge you for that?!

Now, however, because you’re reading this — you’re by default more aware of the situation.

Even if you don’t fully grasp it just yet.

That’s okay.

But, if deep down, you know the life you're living isn't the one you told yourself you wanted to live…

Then listen up. This is for you.

Start spending time alone.

Get to know yourself better than ever before.

What you like, what you don’t. How you instinctively react.

The kind of people you attract.

The places where you feel the most peaceful and calm.

Every little detail.

Treat your life like a science experiment.

Collect all the data possible.

Write it down somewhere.

Read it back once a week.

Find patterns.

Spend time understanding yourself & your typical reactions.

Start anticipating them.

Put more focus, energy, & attention into your everyday moves & decisions.

Do this for a few months.

Keep that promise to yourself.

And if you do that, I can assure you that you, too, will understand and experience first-hand that powerful space that Frankl speaks about.

Once you do, you’ll become clear-headed, at peace, and aware — with an ability to think 2 steps ahead.

So the next time you accidentally spill hot coffee on yourself or your siblings annoy the sh*t out of you, your emotions won’t control you.

Why?

Because you’ll be the one in charge of how you want to respond.

If you want to scream or fight back, you will.

But most likely, you’ll think logically.

You'll realize that you can savour & live in that space for as long as you want.

Ultimately giving you that power that only 1% of society currently holds.

A power so simple to achieve, yet many wouldn’t believe how attainable it really is.

Ever since I started this journey of self-work, I haven’t looked back.

It’s been the best decision I ever made.

A decision you can also choose to make today.

Will you join me?

Thanks for reading!

With love,

Julian