The Waiting Trap

Read time: 2.5 minutes

How many times have you told yourself, “When this happens, then I’ll finally feel happy”?

• “When I quit my job, I’ll focus on my passion.”

• “When I make enough money, I’ll feel secure.”

• “When I move into my dream apartment, I’ll feel less anxious.”

It sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?

But here’s the truth:

The “when” never delivers the peace you’re hoping for.

I know this because I lived it.

For years, I told myself,

“When my coaching business takes off, then I’ll feel happy and fulfilled.”

But even as I hit milestones — clients, income, recognition — that peace never came.

The more I achieved, the more the goalposts moved. I realized I was chasing a horizon that always stayed just out of reach.

Does this sound familiar?

Maybe you’ve been waiting for the “right moment” to make a bold move. Waiting for the perfect circumstances to feel like you’re enough.

However, the habit of waiting isn’t just a mindset — it’s a pattern.

And the longer you practice it, the harder it is to break.

The “when-then syndrome” traps you in a constant chase.

You tie happiness or fulfilment to some future achievement. And for a moment, when you hit that milestone, it feels good. Relief washes over you.

But then, it fades.

Suddenly, there’s a new milestone — a bigger vision, a new “when.”

One of my clients spent years saying…

He believed that leaving his corporate role would give him the clarity and freedom to dive into the hobbies he’d always dreamt of doing.

But recently, when he quit, something strange happened.

• Fear crept in.

• Doubt showed up.

• New excuses appeared.

The habit of waiting had followed him.

Another person I worked with thought that buying her dream penthouse would make her feel calm, grounded, and in control of her life.

She finally got the keys and moved in, and for roughly 6 weeks, everything felt perfect.

But soon, the same feelings of anxiety and restlessness crept back in.

The truth hit her:

Her environment wasn’t the issue.

The peace she was looking for couldn’t come from a bigger space — it had to come from within.

The worst part?

The more you wait, the more you strengthen the pattern of waiting.

Every time you tie happiness to a future event, you reinforce the belief that joy, peace, or fulfilment is somewhere “out there".

Never here. Never now.

The longer you practice this habit, the harder it becomes to break free from it.

Now, onto the good news!

You don’t have to wait for the “when” to start living the “then.”

You can stop the cycle today.

It’s not easy to unlearn the habit of waiting, but it starts with a question:

“What am I putting off that I could start today?”

Fulfilment doesn’t live in a distant future. It lives in the actions you take right now to align with the life you truly want.

And happiness?

It isn’t hiding at the next milestone.

It’s available to you in the present moment — when you choose to stop waiting and start being.

So let me ask you… what are you waiting for?

Thanks for reading!

Much love,

Julian