Read on my website / Read time: 4 minutes

You don't need to be an extrovert.

It doesn't even matter if you consider yourself an "introvert".

These are just labels... and labels are not here to serve you. Even less so — they do not define you.

Remember this, folks — you are ever-evolving. And so are your dreams, aspirations, intentions, goals, perspectives, and personalities.

All these vary. And they change as you change.

From what I've noticed — you tend to believe that you need to be a specific "type" of person to be able to initiate conversations with others. That you need to possess certain "capabilities" to do so.

Well, I'm here to tell you that you're wrong.

You do not need anything. Just a willingness to try. That is it.

It’s all in your head. It's all about mindset.

You hold that power to decide how you want to go about it.

It's just a matter of finding it deep within you and letting it come out at the “right” moment.

You hold this perspective that "it's so complicated to start conversations with people", when in fact, it really isn't that hard. And it doesn't have to be as daunting as you're painting it out to be.

It isn't inherently about the other person either.

It's about you. 

You and you only.

Therefore, today's letter will challenge some of the beliefs you hold of yourself in the conversational world, suggesting a few tips & tricks to get you thinking more confidently & highly of the world (& the people) around you.

Let's dive in!

Perception is Everything

The real work starts from within.

Inside of you.

If you can't believe it, then how can anybody else?

You can only show it if you actually believe it.

The more you do it, the more you will believe it.

Remember the “confidence metric”?

At present, you tend to believe that you cannot be the one who starts conversations. You believe it is too anxiety-inducing.

• What if I say the wrong thing?

• What if I make a fool out of myself?

• What if they do not reciprocate my advances?

The common theme here: what if...

And that is the same pattern that continually repeats itself.

You start overthinking, asking yourself these questions. The more you overthink, the less likely you will result in actually doing it, as your anxiety continues to rise and rise.

And at the very end... you are left to just interacting with the same person you did yesterday, earlier that morning, and will do so again later today:

Yourself. And yourself only. 

You get back home. You can't stop thinking about the fact that you just didn't muster the courage to go up to that person... and you continually live in that cycle of "replay".

I get it. I used to be there.

It was debilitating. All I would think about was the interaction (or lack thereof).

Mainly... how I didn't have the fucking balls to say a thing. And instead of speaking up, I just stayed there, talking and arguing with myself in my own mind.

Now, that's how one really makes a fool out of themselves.

But here's the thing, my friends.

Let's say you were working as a barista at Starbucks. There, you may be "forced" to do things and interact with others in a way that may not inherently be in line with your character, personality, or persona at large...

Yet, you do it anyway because you know you have to. You have no choice. You need to make money and a living.

So you will put on this "character" and "act", right?

Why not see the social world in the same way?

Firstly, start having fun with it. Start "acting" & putting on different roles. It will take away the pressure. But do so while maintaining & staying true to yourself.

Secondly, realize that you need to form genuine and meaningful connections because God knows the massive opportunities & potential contacts you may be missing out on by not initiating conversations.

To drive this point even further — consider the huge ripple effects. That one person you may meet (after starting the conversation) may lead you to another person who then leads you to another who results in playing a MASSIVE role in your journey (& in your life!).

Imagine missing out on that?

The key takeaway, my friends, is: If you consider the vast ripple effects that initiating conversations can have on your life — much like the immediate financial benefits you gain from working at Starbucks — it will help prime your mind to embrace new social opportunities with enthusiasm and perspective.

We need you to understand (& internalize) that you never know who or what the person can bring to your journey. And beyond just "what they can bring to you"... think about the fulfilment and actual happiness that connecting with someone brings to your life.

That's the main difference between return on investment and return on life.

Here, in the social world, by focusing on these things — you get a RETURN ON LIFE.

Now, that's the one that matters.

• The one that keeps you going forward.

• The one that brings you mental clarity & peace.

• The one that allows you to live a life of meaning & purpose.

And who doesn't want that?

So remember, folks — make it a habit every single day to remind yourselves of the enormous benefits that being a conversation-initiator can bring to your life.

Again, look beyond just the instant and quick short-term benefits that those people can bring you, and think of the inherent social & genuine nature of it.

Now, in terms of more specific, concrete, and actionable tips & tricks to help you start conversations more effortlessly, I've got you covered.

I just released a mini video course on exactly that.

I've packed into it all my knowledge and understanding of how to best start conversations. Once you complete & go through it, you'll be able to:

• Break the ice effortlessly

• Overcome all sorts of “approach anxiety”

• Start conversations with anyone, anywhere without overthinking

And the best part?

When added together, the entire course takes under 1h to complete!

Oh, and it's entirely FREE of charge.

Access the course by clicking below:

With that, thanks for reading!

Much love,

Julian

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