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I wanted to become a DJ, so I did.

I wanted to become a model, so I did.

I wanted to create & have a podcast, so I did.

I wanted to start writing online & create my brand...

So I did.

I don't say this to boast, but more so to put forward an example for you folks.

An example that shows that whatever (truly whatever) I wanted to do, I did.

The point?

Whatever you set your mind to — if you want it enough — you can get it.

My brother possesses a similar trait. He wanted to learn to play the drums, so he did. He then switched to piano (& the guitar!), and that he learnt too. Likewise, he learnt to hack & crack iPhone IOS systems before they were even released & became a stellar magician.

Whatever he wanted to do, he did.

The difference with him (vs. me) revolves around childlike curiosities.

As is the case for many others, childlike curiosities are present & active, but as life passes by, they are shattered. To the point where one's ability to continually "chase" such passions diminishes with every passing day.

Today's letter aims to show you that no matter your age, no matter your circumstances, and certainly no matter who you are, you can do whatever it is you want to do.

That's right. It isn't. There are a few caveats here.

Keyword: few.

Let's dive in to find out what they are.

Mental Masturbation

The sad reality is that many folks have outstanding aspirations, big dreams, and incredible goals — but yet, the majority fail to reach them.

Why?

Because it's easier to let them go.

Achieving them requires hard work, dedication, consistency, patience, & much more — why would anybody want to do this?

It's sad because I've heard, seen, & met many people who had huge ideals and perspectives for their lives... but instead of chasing them... they've let those opportunities pass them by. Before they even knew it, they were suddenly working at that corporate job they claimed they'd never be at, seeing how with every passing day, they are one step further from accomplishing what they had initially set out to accomplish.

And all for what?

Because you couldn't delay some gratification? Because you couldn't put in the reps?

You had brilliant ideas. Amazing plans.

But yet, here you are... watching TV, going out, drinking every weekend, staying in bed... doing nothing. Just like you did yesterday, and just like you will continue to do tomorrow, and the day after that.

Until suddenly, you realize... "woah it's my 50th birthday?!"

Where did all the time go?

And that's the thing. If you don't want to end up irrelevant in a world threatened by AI... then, it's time to step up.

It's time to stop daydreaming.

It's time to cease all sorts of mental masturbation.

Start actively pursuing what you had initially set out to pursue.

Because if you don't — nobody is coming to save you.

I get you.

I used to be there.

For a little while, I was lost.

I was constantly going out. Weekend after weekend. Drinking all night (albeit dancing too...), and sleeping all day.

I remember the constant feelings of exhaustion.

But all to just get me to do it again when the weekend rolled back around.

When I look back at that time, it feels like an escape from accepting my reality.

So far, in my life, I've been "given" most of the things I’ve wanted. I’ve never once needed to worry about not having food, or not having a roof over my head. I was (& still am) very lucky. I've never once needed to worry about my basic needs.

And although this may sound ungrateful — it’s somewhat of a curse.

Because when you're so used to having it "all", what stops you from searching for more?

I was comfortable. And that, my friends, was the real curse.

Because where there's comfort, there's no room for growth.

No room for

• fighting

• taking risks

• learning valuable life lessons

In other words, it's not real life.

And that was the trap I fell into. My family had given me all I could've ever wanted:

• an education

• constant sustenance

• freedom to do whatever I wanted

And although this is something I'll be eternally grateful for, it's hard to look beyond it.

If I'm never gonna starve... then why would I need to work?

To be quite frank, that was a thought that crossed my mind more than once.

But... when I was "lost" in my life... I realized there was so much more to it. So much more that I had promised myself I would achieve.

There was so much I knew I could do. And yet, I had done nothing yet.

I was just "waiting" for it to happen. Passively.

So it was time for a change. A big change in my life.

Here's what I did (so that you can too):

Firstly, I listed out & made it abundantly clear to myself all the things that were not bringing me forward.

In other words, what was taking me further away from my objectives?

• Going out

• Spending money on alcohol

• Applying to countless jobs I didn't want

So those 3 specific things... I reversed... and decided to follow through with them.

• I stopped going out

• I stopped spending money on alcohol & clubs

• I stopped applying to numerous jobs I didn't even want

And instead, focused on doing activities that would result in positively adding to my life.

With all the lack of going out (& the associated hangovers)... I had a bunch of newly found free time. Time that I could now spend researching, studying, and constantly learning about my combination of interests.

From music to social psychology, I spent my days watching videos, reading books, and researching principles behind these concepts.

All things that consolidated my understanding of these topics, while making them all the more interesting, entertaining, and engaging for me.

Because remember, my friends, finding "that thing" you want to do "for the rest of your life" isn't important.

What's important is realizing that you like to do the things you're good at.

How do you get good at something?

Doing it repeatedly. Over and over again.

The more you do it, the better you get at it, and therefore, the more you enjoy it.

When I first started writing online, I wasn't good at it. The same applies to editing my own podcast videos... but the more I did it, the better I got at it, and truly, the more I enjoyed it.

Needless to mention I get in a flow state every single time I perform those actions.

There's no better feeling.

My point?

Don't spend your time "figuring out" what it is you may be good at... or what it is you "should" be doing "for the rest of your life" because remember:

1. Things change. Circumstances change. People change. What you may like today, you may not necessarily like tomorrow, next year, or in 10 years. You're ever-evolving. And that's fine.

2. If you don't try it out... you'll never know. Sometimes, things are meant to be tried out to figure out if you actually do like them... and if you do? Then great. If you don't? I encourage you to keep on trying... you never know if it may just end up being your new favourite thing!

Another thing to consider here is these 3 key pillars:

1. Patience

2. Consistency

3. A superiority complex

It's a tough journey. I won't lie.

But, the more patient you can be, the less tough it is.

A reframe that helped me with cultivating my patience:

Which brings us to consistency.

Start working on that one thing. And keep working on it day in, day out.

That's your something to do in the meantime while you're patiently waiting for that long-term vision & intention to show through.

But to be consistent, you need to put in the reps. You need to show up every single day. Work on days when the rest of society isn't. If you wanna do better than the rest, then you gotta be willing to do the things that the rest isn't doing.

Which brings us to my personal favourite:

"The superiority or God complex".

You want to do incredible things? Then you gotta be willing to take on incredible measures.

To be different, you gotta do different.

If the rest of society goes out, lacks patience, and gives up rather quickly... then you gotta do the exact opposite.

While still believing you are truly better than the rest.

I'm not saying you need to display that and be blatantly "superior"... but you need to feel it (& know it).

Because what you think, you do. And what you feel, you do as well.

It's a very thin line, though. Sometimes, when one thinks they know more or are substantially better than the rest... that may become a core part of their identity to the point where they actually do believe it & act in ways that are degrading or belittling to others.

Keyword: humble.

Be humble always. But do so while still believing you are the best. Keep it to yourself and let your actions speak for you.

And most importantly — allow anyone (& everyone) to teach you.

You always come up on top when you have something new to learn.

Remember — when you know everything, you know nothing.

Tying It Back

The question here isn't about "how to be more disciplined".

It's about forming habits & engaging in activities that create positive sum games in your life to the point where they become a part of who you are.

You do them so frequently that there is no question about what has to be done. It just is done.

And if it's not done, it feels unnatural. It goes against your own identity.

You want to become the person who does these automatically without even having to think about it.

And if this is something you're struggling with, then perhaps it's time to dive even deeper.

Aim to introspect & understand yourself better.

Love yourself. Become your number 1 fan. And your own best friend, at the same time.

These past few months of my self-development journey have been beautiful. I've never loved myself more. I've never followed my own heart more.

But, it's true — throughout it all, I've made some people feel distant, while I've made others admire me.

And it doesn't matter. Because I'm continually evolving. Growing.

Whether my battles and struggles are the same as the rest of the world or not, I've learned to love myself so deeply that it just doesn't show.

I don't care about being accepted or "fitting in".

I am more than okay with being my own self and standing out.

The best part yet?

No one can stop me from doing anything that I want to do.

Why?

Cause I won't let anyone influence me to that extent.

It's my life. My choices.

I encourage you to take a hold of yours and decide to do something meaningful with it.

Because without meaning, there's no purpose. And without purpose, there's no life.

Yes, it may be lonely. Yes, you may fail.

But, not only do you end up with a new best friend (one that is for life), but the more you fail, the more you grow.

So, start failing. Fast. And start growing even faster.

You won't regret it.

Thank you for reading.

Much love,

Julian

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