Read on my website / Read time: 6 minutes

I would never question a thing.

And it would drive me crazy.

Whether it was

• my flirting abilities

• my skills & expertise

• another's opinion about me

I would simply allow it to be what it was.

Even worse, I would believe it.

I would allow it to adhere & glue itself to my being.

When, instead, I could've paused.

Reflected.

Thought about it.

And asked myself...

Does this actually define me? Is this a true part of me?

But I didn't.

I remember a specific time during my days as a single man.

Whenever I would flirt with a woman & they weren't interested, I would instantly believe it was my problem. My fault. An issue to do with me.

I immediately adhered to the idea that her rejection was either due to something I said or did.

At times, I just accepted (what I thought was) the reality:

I suck at flirting.

BUT.

What if...

...there was another reason?

What if the girl in question rejected me because I wasn't her type?

Or because she wasn't looking to go on a date as she just got out of a committed relationship?

The fact is that there are numerous other reasons why people do or say things and our brains immediately go to 1 thing, believe that 1 thing, and glue themselves to that belief.

To the point that the belief becomes a part of their identity.

And this happens with more cases than just flirting. It could be your belief about your selling abilities as a sales representative, or even the belief you hold about someone else's actions.

Whatever it is... your first belief doesn't have to be your final belief.

The more you question, the more you discover.

The more you discover, the more accurate opinions you can form.

This is a conflicting notion for many to understand.

But the point in question is the fact that YOU behave in your everyday life based on how YOU see the world.

I'll say it again:

Every action you take, or even do not take, is 100% influenced by the way you see and interpret the world around you.

Therefore, in today's letter, we'll go over the different facets of belief & how questioning your beliefs will be the biggest blessing you give to your life today.

[I want to make clear that in no way am I inviting you to interpret this as your spiritual and religious beliefs... the entire premise of this letter is based on your own self-beliefs. That is, the thoughts you hold of yourself in your own head.]

With that, let's dive in.

It's All Made Up

For me, this questioning began around the time that my romantic relationship started with my current partner.

For those who don't know, we're in a long-distance relationship. Practically 80% of our communication is conducted through our electronic devices. There is a BIG opportunity for a lot of miscommunication to take place.

Specifically, I remember the days when she would get off work at night. I was living in Canada at the time, with only a 3-hour time difference (compared to the 9-hour difference we hold today).

I would patiently wait for the clock to hit 11 pm for her to call me as she usually did.

But, one time...

She didn't call.

I checked the time again. I made sure of the fact it was 11 pm.

I gave it a few minutes. "Maybe she's running a little late tonight", I thought.

11.05 — still nothing.

At 11.07, I couldn't wait any longer and decided to give her a ring myself.

Still no reply.

As the minutes passed by, my worries & anxious thoughts continued to creep in.

With every passing second, they intensified.

I remember my thoughts:

• "She forgot about me"

• "She's mad & purposely ignoring me"

• "She got in the car, drove for a bit, & had an accident"

Exactly.

These are all irrational thoughts.

Yet, my mind made them up. Entertained them. And the more it entertained them, the more it believed them.

This happened multiple times. In multiple different occasions.

And not solely with my girlfriend.

I would make myself believe a bunch of things that had no rational backing.

There was no evidence whatsoever for these thoughts.

Yet, I believe them.

And I clung to them.

I chose & allowed them to become a part of my identity & self-concept.

And that's the thing here, my friends.

What you tell yourself matters a whole lot.

That inner voice directs your actions. It determines how you see yourself.

What Can You Do Instead?

Realize and acknowledge that the beliefs you make of yourself & end up adhering to, become a part of you.

You will continually reinforce that identity (one that you created may I add) and continually be the person who acts in accordance with those beliefs.

The best example that comes to mind:

If you believe you are fat & out of shape — you will undertake actions that fat people do, right?

You believe it, so you become it.

An athlete, on the other hand, doesn't eat fast food or lives an unhealthy live because in their heads (what they self-affirm), is that they are indeed an athlete & athletes simply do not do that.

The belief is the foundation. It starts it off.

The doing of it can only happen if belief is there in the first place.

What creates your reality is what you think about and what you talk about each day.

Positive self-talk and self-image lead to actions that align with those beliefs, ultimately creating the desired change.

Now, with that in mind, I invite you to start implementing the following in your daily life:

A) Always More Sides!

Even when you think you've exhausted every single option possible, there is always another.

Always.

Ask yourself:

Circling back to the earlier example with my girlfriend, if I would've allowed myself to pause & ask this question, I would've come up with the following:

• She might have run out of battery

• She might have had to place a more urgent call

• She might have been asked to stay a little longer than usual

Notice how all these include "might". It is not a fact. But, none of it has been a fact up to this point. Even my initial belief about her either ignoring me or forgetting about me — those were all made up.

You create stories in your heads about certain things in your life.

Sometimes those things are about your own views of yourself. Sometimes, they are about your relationships and the other people in your life.

Whatever the case, please take a second to realize that you created those stories, and then subsequently chose which to believe in.

You create it all. You choose it all.

Your world is one of creation & choice.

Remember that.

But, in order to even consider other potential evidence to refute the initial belief, you need to:

B) Catch It!

You can only do something about it if you know that something has to be done.

Meaning... your ability to come up with refuting evidence upon the first & initial belief will only be possible if you catch yourself "needing" to do it...

As I always say:

Acknowledgement is the first and hardest hurdle.

"How do I catch myself?"

By continually "monitoring" yourself.

"How do I monitor myself?"

By zooming out on yourself.

"How do I zoom out"?

By daily writing & journaling.

You knew that was coming ;)

But, it's true. Think about it.

If you form a daily habit of journaling on your day... that is, intentionally assessing your day, you will be more clear & alert on your natural behaviour.

Therefore, in your day-to-day life, you will be more "up-to-date" on the things you say and tend to do as you've been regularly evaluating your actions.

I can assure you this works. I continually catch myself in my day-to-day conversations with others (& with myself) using victim language for example. Through my daily journaling, I've been able to bring it to my attention & consciousness.

And the more I do so, the more natural the "catch" becomes.

It is all about bringing it to your awareness. That is how you acknowledge it.

Once acknowledged, correction can take place.

The more you acknowledge & bring it up to your subconscious, the more natural the correction becomes.

Conclusion

You get to choose it all.

You get to choose how you want to live your life.

You get to choose how you want the things in your life to affect you.

As hard as it may seem, the first step is belief.

Give yourself permission to believe. And if you're still struggling with that, remind yourself that it is all a creation.

You create everything:

• The path you walk

• The relationships you build

• The stories you tell yourself

• The opportunities you seize

• The ideas & thoughts in your mind

Do yourself a favour and...

Create belief for yourself too.

When there's enough belief, turning your life around becomes inevitable.

That's it for this one, my friends.

Thanks for reading!

Much much love to you all,

Julian

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